Argh. I am turning into that poor AC boy, on the verge of depression and always feeling so sad all the time. I guess the only difference is that he likes to extract it out on the people he knows. get a grip, dude. But on the other hand, at least he has people to hear him out. I get really bad at spilling out problems to people.

I can't stand my mum, she is the ultimate. So now everytime I talk to her, I visualise myself talking to my form teacher. I swear their attitudes, character and that unreasonableness are freaking similar. But the difference is that I tend to keep a rein over my temper when I am talking to my form teacher. It worked, to my surpirse. I think my mum slaps me lesser now, oh and she stopped trying to force feed me medicated oil. The final thing that convinced me that my mum and form teacher have gemini characters: they really put on a facade when they want to get people to their side. It is kind of sick and freaking scary when you get to see the both sides of them.

I am now writing my nyaa with a vigour! I got over the irritatingness of staring at the computer. It gets tempting to add every thing you experienced into words. I guess I really want something to remind me of memories after the camps.

Death note 2 was great, but really sad and provoked lots of thoughts. I am trying not to think so much on it. twin keeps saying I put to much thoughts into everything I experience, even a simple movie encourage thoughts to blossom. Is it really that bad to think about everything? I think my favourite pastime is to muse about the experiences and people I meet in life.

Battle royale is another kick start to my running thoughts. I guess it really boils down to a point: would you kill your best friend so you could live? And the whole point of surviving with this guilt. Surprisingly, the dying are more afraid to be forgotten then dying itself. It is a miracle that we exist on this planet, we would want someone to know; to still have a place here through others after we are gone. It is really cruel to see the students kill each other in their urge to survive and protect their loved ones.

I should really work hard to make myself like GP, since I like thinking and debating to myself like a demented soul. The image of me being a nerd doesn't fall far. Now I just need a dictionary to carry around and an imaginary friend to make my debut as a nerd. Maybe I should get those thick black specs frames too.

I am crapping too much, the first sign of a deranged nerd. Mel, so sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I will make time to call, promise.